Late August - Early September 2011
I was learning how to enjoy, and chew, beef broth. I was even getting a wild urge to try chicken broth. I never had the urge to chew on pork broth. I don’t know if they make pork broth. For some reason pork broth just sounds wrong. I don’t know why. What if they made bacon broth? If so, I would still be on a liquid diet.
I’m taking the giant leap to solid foods. When I say solid foods, I mean foods that are more solid than broth. I think pasty foods would be a more appropriate description. The big treat for me is eating refried beans. I love refried beans with some marinated chicken and sour cream with cheese and salsa all wrapped up in a nice flour tortilla with some Mexican rice. Only I can’t have rice or tortillas because they have too many carbs. I can have salsa and cheese and sour cream, but the goal is to get as much protein as possible into a ¼ cup serving.
Let me just pause right here and talk about my post-surgery, post-broth-and-Jello diet. Now that my stomach has been turned into a pouch (like a kangaroo but with fewer offspring), it has the volume of a chicken egg (about ¼ cup). The point of the surgery is to eat less and to get my body to burn fat. My ¼ cup meals need to be high protein, low fat, and no carbs. This will cause my body to use the stored fat and convert it to sugars to power my body and my brain. Since my brain has been off the grid for several years, I’m only burning fat to power my body, and something is wrong, because this body is seriously underpowered. I get winded watching other people run.
Also, the pouch isn’t good for storing water. It’s good for passing water right on through to my small intestine. So, I’m supposed to drink several gallons of water every day. My water requirements are so high, I just get into the bathtub, fill ‘er up, and use a straw. I’m both clean and hydrated, although the diarrhea is a mystery. Maybe I need to switch from Dial to Irish Spring.
Seriously, I need to drink 64 ounces of water daily. I am not to drink 30 minutes before and after meals. No washing down the food. Even the opening into my stomach is smaller, which means I have to take very small bites of food. I’m supposed to chew the electron-sized bites into the consistency of yogurt. Sometime I forget and the food either gets stuck, or I bring it all back up. I’m not sure which is most uncomfortable. Either way, my body is training me to slow down and chew my food thoroughly. All this chewing will have my molars ground to nubs within 6 months.
I'm used to drinking all the time. I was drinking –seriously –about 200 ounces of diet cola every day. I know how to drink. Oh, also, there’s no coffee, tea, tobacco, alcoholic or carbonated beverages allowed after this surgery. Tea and Coffee, no problem. Tobacco… well, I’ve been trying to quit wearing tobacco leaves on my head for years. The surgery forced me to break that bad habit. Alcohol? Let’s just say that 30 years ago when I woke up with my head in someone's toilet and couldn’t account for the previous 6 hours, it cured me of the desire to ever drink again. Even if I wasn’t living my religion, I don’t think alcohol and I would be very good friends. But, the carbonated drinks? Wow! I had to undergo a 4-week weaning from diet Dr. Pepper and Coke Zero. When I finally got down to one 12-ounce can per day, I stopped. The withdrawal headaches weren’t that bad, if you enjoy sticking your head in a vise and having a sadistic neighbor crank it down. But, less than a week after I quit, I was free of the headaches. I’ve had migraine headaches for the past several years. I thought they were a result of an old neck injury. I haven’t had a migraine since quitting the diet cola. But, I’m not perfect. I saw a Coke Zero in a vending machine last week and I had to turn away and sing my favorite hymn.
Sorry, I intended this post to be about my giant leap from liquid food to pasty food.
Anyway I’ve started on more solid foods. For breakfast I’m eating cottage cheese. I’ve never really known where cottage cheese comes from. I try not to think about it because it tastes much better than broth and Jello. For lunch and dinner I’m eating refried beans. It is like a ¼ cup serving of heaven. I really do love refried beans.
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